KNOWING HOW TO OVERCOME SHYNESS

How to overcome shyness is something anybody who feels shy needs to know. Shyness has a strong hereditary components especially if the shyness is at extreme. Shyness is inhibition in the presence of other people.

Shy persons avoid social situations because they are likely to feel fatigue and tension and as such they become isolated and thereby wasting some vital social opportunities. According to apa.org, some people’s shyness can be much more intense.

There are three basic manifestations to shy behaviour; they include:-

• Embarrassment to speak publicly
• Anxiety: (Read here)Previously, I made a post on anxiety (read here), excessively shy persons manifest physiological signs of anxiety such as: agitation, palpitation, sweating, flushing etc. in the presence of others.
• Meeting avoidance: The shy ones always dodge meetings, party or appointment. They also are able to concoct incredible stories to avoid appointment.

Individual Consequences:

Shy persons always observe the talkative and resourceful individuals and try to be like them. This frustrated wish may lead to depressive symptoms. They are unhappy with their conditions.

Interpersonal Consequences

The shy person lacks the regular ability to nourish social relationships and his/her skills become increasingly impoverished. The shy person also suffers in the process of courting and as a result he/she gives up.

Work Consequences

The shy person is bound to reject many professional opportunities because they require interpersonal skills.

Overcoming Shyness 

1. Act confidently. 

Confidence comes through action, learning, practice, and mastery. Remember when you learned how to ride a bike? It was terrifying at first, but after you just went for it and tried it, you got it, and felt confident. Social confidence works the same way. In order to know how to overcome shyness, try putting this suggestion into practice.

Feeling anxious is not the problem; avoiding social interactions is the problem. Eliminate avoidance and you will overcome your anxiety.

2. Practice displaying confident body language. 

Make eye contact when talking to someone. Walk with your head held high. Project your voice clearly and effectively. Shake hands. Give hugs. Stay in close proximity to others.

3. Talk. 

Start practicing giving speeches or presentations and telling jokes or stories at every opportunity. Be more talkative and expressive in all areas of your life. Whether you’re at work, with friends, with strangers, or walking down the street, you can practice talking more openly. Let your voice and your ideas be heard.

Read: Insecurity and Self-Esteem 

Confident people are not preoccupied with whether everyone is going to like what they have to say. They speak their mind because they want to share, engage, and connect with others. You can do this too. Anxiety and shyness are not reasons to stay quiet.

4. Give yourself challenging tasks. If you are a shy person, it is advisable to accept the job of door – to – door salespersons or commercial representative. You may suffer at the beginning, but the experience and the achievements you obtain will be the extra step toward success.
5. Join a cell group in your local church: This is mostly applicable to individuals who practice Christian religion or simply put “Christians”. Cell groups help reshape one when it comes to interacting with folks. This is a place where you’re given the opportunity to learn, teach and contribute.
6. Be mindful. 

Mindfulness has been defined simply as awareness. Wake up. Be present to all of your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories in any given moment. There is no part of your experience that you have to run from, escape, or avoid. Learn to appreciate yourself and the world around you, including those “panicky” thoughts and feelings, and just notice them without judgment.

Knowing How To Overcome Shyness Helps You Avoid alcohol as a social relaxant

There are some introverts that have a few drinks to break the ice and seemingly become more talkative. This will not actually work because;

It is temporary. It is true that the effects of alcohol cause shy people to lower their inhibition, however, this change is not authentic and when the effects of the alcohol wear off, the shy person continues with the same tendency.

It is dangerous especially for shy people, the risk of addiction is real, especially for the shy person who, rewarded by feelings of empowerment, may continue to use alcohol in private, thereby running into alcoholism.

It is not advisable resorting to alcohol because one may repent of what was said under the effect of alcohol. The sensation of boldness produced by alcohol is not rational and may make someone say or do something detrimental.

In Christian community, we are all gathering because we acknowledge we are sinners. That is why we came to Christ, because we are not good enough not to come to Christ. Consider Paul’s estimation of Christians, “For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.” (1 Cor 1:26). So there is no need to pretend.

The Bible calls for the kind of vulnerability that confesses sin to one another (James 5:16).

You can be open by being honest when you are nervous, being honest about wanting to make new friends, about struggling with pride. How can you open up to people?  

By far, the most effective thing to grasp in overcoming shyness is to switch your focus from self to others

Remember:

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7)

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